Putting your personal sex life out on a platter for the world to sample and get a taste is a huge step out of anyone’s comfort zone. For this reason, I choose to remain anonymous. It is not my intent to exploit anyone, whether they be family, friend or conquest. I merely wanted to state factual experiences, not opinions on the topic of interracial relationships.
No man or woman should ever feel ashamed or be criticized for loving anyone regardless of race, color, nationality or sexual orientation. We are all given the freedom of choice in our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Evidence of my multiculturalism is displayed throughout this book with the chapter titles referencing song titles as well as other media. I encourage you to test your skillz.
My thanks and eternal appreciation for the true love of friends and family for the encouragment to embark on this quest of self-discovery and self-empowerment.
My hope and dream is that my readers will experience the same.
1/24/2008
Chapter 1: At the Beginning
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." (Genesis 1:26-28)
The male/female relationship was created according to God’s purpose. Did He really anticipate so much debate and discussion over the variations of the unions of the males and females in their quest to glorify him and populate His earth? The Bible clearly shows that there is no white race, black race, Hispanic race, Asian race, or any other race. The Human Race is all one race! In essence, we are all people of color. Geneticists have proven this fact. Science has also proven that there is not one person who can say that they are of a "pure race" ~ there is no such thing. The only natural racial barrier that existed in biblical times was language. “The Lord God of Israel created all mankind in His own image. He separated us into different languages and dispersed us throughout the world. Our God gave to each people the knowledge and wisdom needed to survive in each place. His hand has always been present in each of our histories....[i]
Furthermore, Ephesians 5:31 says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” This is so evident throughout the entire Bible and throughout time. Who determined that people should marry “within their own race?” We are all, in essence, children of Adam and Eve, so no matter what the differences are; we are still all one race anyway.
[i] Gefen, Gavriel. “Indigenous Expressions of Biblical Faith” St Francis Magazine Nr. 4 (2006): 1
The male/female relationship was created according to God’s purpose. Did He really anticipate so much debate and discussion over the variations of the unions of the males and females in their quest to glorify him and populate His earth? The Bible clearly shows that there is no white race, black race, Hispanic race, Asian race, or any other race. The Human Race is all one race! In essence, we are all people of color. Geneticists have proven this fact. Science has also proven that there is not one person who can say that they are of a "pure race" ~ there is no such thing. The only natural racial barrier that existed in biblical times was language. “The Lord God of Israel created all mankind in His own image. He separated us into different languages and dispersed us throughout the world. Our God gave to each people the knowledge and wisdom needed to survive in each place. His hand has always been present in each of our histories....[i]
Furthermore, Ephesians 5:31 says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” This is so evident throughout the entire Bible and throughout time. Who determined that people should marry “within their own race?” We are all, in essence, children of Adam and Eve, so no matter what the differences are; we are still all one race anyway.
[i] Gefen, Gavriel. “Indigenous Expressions of Biblical Faith” St Francis Magazine Nr. 4 (2006): 1
Chapter 2: Breaking Free
Once upon a time, laws in America existed that read: “Any negro man and white woman, or any white man and negro woman, who are not married to each other, who shall habitually live in and occupy in the nighttime the same room shall each be punished by imprisonment not exceeding twelve months, or by fine not exceeding five hundred dollars. ”[i]
If you turn back the hand of time to our early American History, you’ll find the African’s unwillful entry into the United States for the purpose of slavery. Despite the Master/Slave laws, there were interracial relations even at that time. History has now confirmed the Sally Hemings affair of Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence and our third U.S. President. Fawn Brodie’s documentation of Jefferson's domestic secrets states that Sally Hemings was the half sister of his late wife, Martha, whom he had loved dearly. On her deathbed, Martha (perhaps selfishly) extracted from Thomas a promise that he would never remarry. [ii]
But history shows that while he managed not to remarry, Thomas struggled, torn between his promise to Martha and his own wants and needs as a human being and as a man. Sally was of very light complexion, being three quarters white. She was a smart black woman because she made him promise that he would free any and all children he had by her at their reaching adulthood, and also that he would "give her time" upon his own death. History reflects that he kept both of these promises. Jefferson fathered four children with Sally and that progeny has, in turn, gone on since then to develop a long line of descendants, some of which "became white" and some of which "became black." Though this all became public during his lifetime, Jefferson refused to ever address publicly the allegations presented against him. But the evidence was too great to conceal.
[i] “Anti-Miscegenation Laws.” Wikipedia
[ii] Brodie, Fawn M. No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith. New York: Alfred A Knopf, Inc. (1945) 2nd Rev. (1995)
If you turn back the hand of time to our early American History, you’ll find the African’s unwillful entry into the United States for the purpose of slavery. Despite the Master/Slave laws, there were interracial relations even at that time. History has now confirmed the Sally Hemings affair of Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence and our third U.S. President. Fawn Brodie’s documentation of Jefferson's domestic secrets states that Sally Hemings was the half sister of his late wife, Martha, whom he had loved dearly. On her deathbed, Martha (perhaps selfishly) extracted from Thomas a promise that he would never remarry. [ii]
But history shows that while he managed not to remarry, Thomas struggled, torn between his promise to Martha and his own wants and needs as a human being and as a man. Sally was of very light complexion, being three quarters white. She was a smart black woman because she made him promise that he would free any and all children he had by her at their reaching adulthood, and also that he would "give her time" upon his own death. History reflects that he kept both of these promises. Jefferson fathered four children with Sally and that progeny has, in turn, gone on since then to develop a long line of descendants, some of which "became white" and some of which "became black." Though this all became public during his lifetime, Jefferson refused to ever address publicly the allegations presented against him. But the evidence was too great to conceal.
[i] “Anti-Miscegenation Laws.” Wikipedia
[ii] Brodie, Fawn M. No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith. New York: Alfred A Knopf, Inc. (1945) 2nd Rev. (1995)
Chapter 3: WHY?
Then I began thinking that if a black man can write a book and rant about race and sexual perceptions, why shouldn't I support myself and plenty of other women who feel the same way I do? I set out to find other materials regarding black women who have the same feelings I do. When I started my research – I began with the internet. I did searches for guides and books about "black women dating white men” and turned up hardly any hits! I was appalled! I found Adam White’s books titled The Interracial Dating Book for Black Women Who Want to Date White Men and The White Man's Guide To Dating Black Women. However, they were both told from a man’s point of view.
I choose to follow the advice of a friend as stated in her blog, “Remember the #1 plan is to seek out loving, loveable, suitable, and compatible men of quality in the global village and you must be evaluate men and then be receptive to all men of quality who come along–of whatever skin shade or nationality. This is the only plan when it comes to the 'mating' realm. Nothing else is negotiable. Teach this plan at every opportunity to as many black girls and black women as you can! Squeeze it in whenever possible.”[i]
The next major issue I encountered was the apparent double standard regarding society's view of black women and black men dating the opposite sex of other races. Black men seemed to get upset when they saw a black woman with a white guy, but they generally didn't have a problem dating white women. In a poll, when asked why they prefer white women, they responded:
1) White women are easier to get in bed
2) You can control white women easier than black women
3) She was more attractive than a black woman
4) White women are obsessed with the big black dick
5) They liked the idea of being with someone different
6) The white woman had money and gave the black man what he wanted when he wanted it.
7) White women give good head without a thought.
[i] Evia. “Black Female Interracial Marriage: E-Zine On Black Women And Interracial Marriage Options” 22, Dec. 2007. <>
I choose to follow the advice of a friend as stated in her blog, “Remember the #1 plan is to seek out loving, loveable, suitable, and compatible men of quality in the global village and you must be evaluate men and then be receptive to all men of quality who come along–of whatever skin shade or nationality. This is the only plan when it comes to the 'mating' realm. Nothing else is negotiable. Teach this plan at every opportunity to as many black girls and black women as you can! Squeeze it in whenever possible.”[i]
The next major issue I encountered was the apparent double standard regarding society's view of black women and black men dating the opposite sex of other races. Black men seemed to get upset when they saw a black woman with a white guy, but they generally didn't have a problem dating white women. In a poll, when asked why they prefer white women, they responded:
1) White women are easier to get in bed
2) You can control white women easier than black women
3) She was more attractive than a black woman
4) White women are obsessed with the big black dick
5) They liked the idea of being with someone different
6) The white woman had money and gave the black man what he wanted when he wanted it.
7) White women give good head without a thought.
[i] Evia. “Black Female Interracial Marriage: E-Zine On Black Women And Interracial Marriage Options” 22, Dec. 2007. <>
Chapter 4: Big Pimpin
Todd Wooten’s book defines the Limpbaugh Syndrome as “over-focusing on life in the boardroom (gettin’ paid), to compensate for short-comings in the bedroom (gettin’ laid), i.e. the inability to satisfy a woman. This wretched illness afflicts primarily White Males. This illness has existed for centuries, but the modern day poster-child for it is none other than the great Rush Limbaugh. When Limpbaugh Syndrome is coupled with Small-Poleons Complex (physically and/or Sexually threatened by Black Men) the two expand to form an intense Hatred of Black Men.”
As humorous as it sounds, I will agree with is take on the black man and his “big black dick” issues. I will comment on his other analogy of W. M. D. = White Man’s Dread = Fear of the Black Penis. Apparently the fear was induced by the difference in size, however, that’s just a misconception in America when it comes to race relations and sexual relations intermingling. Let’s hit the facts and go back to school shall we?
Ladies and gentlemen: The penis is an organ that varies from male to male - there is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to penis size. The average adult penis size is about 6.2 inches. The penis has to be completely erect before you can measure it accurately. Contrary to popular opinion, black men do not always have big dicks. Dr. David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist, states that there is no correlation between penile size and race.[i]
If you really want to break it down by race, here are the researched and documented average penis sizes:
Black/African American 6.89"
White/Caucasian 6.22"
Hispanic/Latino 6.15"
Asian 5.33"
As you can see, the difference on average between a white man and black man is only about 6/10th of an inch. That’s the tip of a fingernail or ball point pen. Unfortunately, we live in a superficial society that encourages the myth that a man with a larger penis has a better sex life than one with a smaller or “normal” size penis.
[i] Delvin, David and Webber, Christine. “Facts About Penis Size.” NetDoctor. (2007). 23, Dec. 2007.
As humorous as it sounds, I will agree with is take on the black man and his “big black dick” issues. I will comment on his other analogy of W. M. D. = White Man’s Dread = Fear of the Black Penis. Apparently the fear was induced by the difference in size, however, that’s just a misconception in America when it comes to race relations and sexual relations intermingling. Let’s hit the facts and go back to school shall we?
Ladies and gentlemen: The penis is an organ that varies from male to male - there is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to penis size. The average adult penis size is about 6.2 inches. The penis has to be completely erect before you can measure it accurately. Contrary to popular opinion, black men do not always have big dicks. Dr. David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist, states that there is no correlation between penile size and race.[i]
If you really want to break it down by race, here are the researched and documented average penis sizes:
Black/African American 6.89"
White/Caucasian 6.22"
Hispanic/Latino 6.15"
Asian 5.33"
As you can see, the difference on average between a white man and black man is only about 6/10th of an inch. That’s the tip of a fingernail or ball point pen. Unfortunately, we live in a superficial society that encourages the myth that a man with a larger penis has a better sex life than one with a smaller or “normal” size penis.
[i] Delvin, David and Webber, Christine. “Facts About Penis Size.” NetDoctor. (2007). 23, Dec. 2007.
Chapter 5: Queen of the Night
I’ve always considered myself a Black Queen – that’s just always been part of my upbringing. I had working class parents, a younger brother, lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood, went to a private school, and was afforded things that many of my friends never had. My father was ex-Navy and worked at a pharmaceutical warehouse. He became an assistant pastor when I was in middle school and then began preaching while was in high school. My mother, an RN, worked in the research department at the same company. She had two college degrees, one in nursing and one she earned later in Business Administration. We were a close knit, bible-belt family until my parents began drifting apart. They didn’t get divorced until I graduated high school. I saw it coming, but I’m grateful for them holding out that long for my sake.
My parents sent me to a private school that was 99% white (I was the 1%). I was there from third grade until I graduated from high school. I spent my entire adolescence and early adulthood being teased in my ‘hood for being “proper”. Why? Because I used proper English? Or was it because I didn’t talk “black”. I suffered an identity crisis at an early age and at the hands of my own peers. It got the point where I didn’t even want to play outside anymore. My little brother had all of the neighborhood kids intimidated by me because he always spoke of his big sister whom they never saw. If he got mad at them, he would tell them that he would go get his sister and they would run home!
Books and television were my best friends. I loved fairy tales and greek mythology. I fantasized that I was the princesses and the goddesses that I read about (go figure). My favorite shows were (and still are) crime dramas. I was a member of the Philip Michael Thomas fan club from Miami Vice and idolized Billy Dee Williams from his older movies to Star Wars. My parents didn’t think I was peeking at the drive in theatre, but I remember Lady Sings the Blues, Mahogany, all of the Sidney Poitier’s movies and the Bill Cosby comedies. But there were mainly pin-up photos of Don Johnson, Tom Selleck, John Stamos and Chuck Norris adorning my bedroom walls. I spent my money from allowance and my job at the pizza shop to buy Tiger Beat Magazines.
I listened to classic rock and roll in addition to listening to R & B and classic soul on my dad’s record player (yes I said record player!). Growing up, I flipped radio stations from rock and roll, to soul, to hard rock and then to gospel. I remember writing down the words to Hall and Oates’ “Maneater” and my dad finding them and getting grounded for it. I was also constantly grounded for watching television shows like Three’s Company, Bewitched, and Dynasty because my dad found them “immoral”. Being the daughter of a preacher, limited my access to many of my “worldly” obsessions which happened to be the mass media.
I also remember listening in disbelief to my parents telling me horror stories of growing up with segregation in the ‘60s. I saw photos of my “white” maternal great grandmother and saw the various shades of color within my own family. I listened to my mother tell me how insulted she was when I was born and everyone commented on my father’s side of how “light” I was. I remember my mother telling me she went to a movie theater and had to go through the back door and sit all the way up in the balcony because they weren’t allowed to use the front door. Meanwhile her cousins who looked white could get away with sitting on the main floor. There were also stories of my paternal grandfather narrowly escaping lynchings and my grandmother who was a nurse being able to care for whites but not ride the same bus home with them.
My parents sent me to a private school that was 99% white (I was the 1%). I was there from third grade until I graduated from high school. I spent my entire adolescence and early adulthood being teased in my ‘hood for being “proper”. Why? Because I used proper English? Or was it because I didn’t talk “black”. I suffered an identity crisis at an early age and at the hands of my own peers. It got the point where I didn’t even want to play outside anymore. My little brother had all of the neighborhood kids intimidated by me because he always spoke of his big sister whom they never saw. If he got mad at them, he would tell them that he would go get his sister and they would run home!
Books and television were my best friends. I loved fairy tales and greek mythology. I fantasized that I was the princesses and the goddesses that I read about (go figure). My favorite shows were (and still are) crime dramas. I was a member of the Philip Michael Thomas fan club from Miami Vice and idolized Billy Dee Williams from his older movies to Star Wars. My parents didn’t think I was peeking at the drive in theatre, but I remember Lady Sings the Blues, Mahogany, all of the Sidney Poitier’s movies and the Bill Cosby comedies. But there were mainly pin-up photos of Don Johnson, Tom Selleck, John Stamos and Chuck Norris adorning my bedroom walls. I spent my money from allowance and my job at the pizza shop to buy Tiger Beat Magazines.
I listened to classic rock and roll in addition to listening to R & B and classic soul on my dad’s record player (yes I said record player!). Growing up, I flipped radio stations from rock and roll, to soul, to hard rock and then to gospel. I remember writing down the words to Hall and Oates’ “Maneater” and my dad finding them and getting grounded for it. I was also constantly grounded for watching television shows like Three’s Company, Bewitched, and Dynasty because my dad found them “immoral”. Being the daughter of a preacher, limited my access to many of my “worldly” obsessions which happened to be the mass media.
I also remember listening in disbelief to my parents telling me horror stories of growing up with segregation in the ‘60s. I saw photos of my “white” maternal great grandmother and saw the various shades of color within my own family. I listened to my mother tell me how insulted she was when I was born and everyone commented on my father’s side of how “light” I was. I remember my mother telling me she went to a movie theater and had to go through the back door and sit all the way up in the balcony because they weren’t allowed to use the front door. Meanwhile her cousins who looked white could get away with sitting on the main floor. There were also stories of my paternal grandfather narrowly escaping lynchings and my grandmother who was a nurse being able to care for whites but not ride the same bus home with them.
Chapter 6: Looking For Love
My first online ad/entry occurred in July of 1999. I was about to be 30 years old and I’m posting an online ad for “Chocolate Seeking Vanilla”. I knew what I wanted and had no idea if there were actually white knights out there who were actually interested in and looking for black women. I figured the majority would respond out of curiosity. I was aware that just walking into a bar, I wouldn’t be the first choice of a white knight. I also knew that the majority of white knights who did like black women wouldn’t just walk right up to me either. I always had to do the staring contest and give some indication that I was interested before they would have the nerve to say something. By using the internet, it did all of the work for me.
Next, I needed a plan. What do I do if a knight is interested in me? What information should I collect before meeting him? What if I run into a rapist or murderer? How would I screen them? What rules would I need to protect myself and my children? At what point do I give him my phone number or actually meet him? At what point do I initiate sex? All of these were questions I had asked myself. At the time, there wasn’t a set of rules or a guide to online dating and I didn’t find any suggestions on the internet. I had to make up my own! Now they have books with helpful hints such as protect your identity – do not give out any personal info until you are comfortable; and having separate email accounts – use one for online dating and one for your personal.
Now, not everyone can excel at online dating as I have. My years of experience have produced a set of “golden rules” that I have gone by. The rules have been altered with each unpleasant experience but have generally remained the same.
Next, I needed a plan. What do I do if a knight is interested in me? What information should I collect before meeting him? What if I run into a rapist or murderer? How would I screen them? What rules would I need to protect myself and my children? At what point do I give him my phone number or actually meet him? At what point do I initiate sex? All of these were questions I had asked myself. At the time, there wasn’t a set of rules or a guide to online dating and I didn’t find any suggestions on the internet. I had to make up my own! Now they have books with helpful hints such as protect your identity – do not give out any personal info until you are comfortable; and having separate email accounts – use one for online dating and one for your personal.
Now, not everyone can excel at online dating as I have. My years of experience have produced a set of “golden rules” that I have gone by. The rules have been altered with each unpleasant experience but have generally remained the same.
Chapter 7: Ride the White Pony
My First Pony Ride [Jul 16th, 1999]
Sex Score = 8
My first online encounter was with Ponyboy. I’m referencing a character from S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders (which was one of my favorite books/movies). He was 6 foot, 185 lbs with brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. He resembled Karl Urban when he was in the movie Doom. He was a Cancer, had a dark and rugged look, and was in his early 30s. Ponyboy was recently divorced and had an infant son who was bi-racial. So right off the bat, I knew that he had a very good comfort level with black women and that I wasn’t simply an experiment to him. He was living with his parents and worked at a post office.
After talking online for a day or two, we decided to meet. With this being my first experience for online dating, I began to think, “Okay, what do I do now?” I then realized that I was talking to so many knights at one time, that I needed to keep track of them and what I said to whom. So began I adding little tidbits to my Little Black Book that they had told me about themselves – about their kids, or their occupation.
I initially planned not to give my home address out. However, I only felt comfortable giving him my home address because he had delivered my mail as a sub on one occasion. We finally agreed to meet and he came over to my house. I remember looking up at him and saying, “Wow! There’s a man at my door to see ME!” He was just as gorgeous in person as he was in his picture. I invited him over to watch a movie and we ended up having a drink. When we both loosened up, we sat and watched the movie Armageddon. He was very sentimental and a hopeless romantic. I had never seen knight cry watching a movie before, but during the scene where Bruce Willis saves the earth, he did! I think that was part of what really turned me on about him! True knights are allowed to be sensitive contrary to popular opinion. If he can’t explore his feminine side, he’s no good. I had sensed it earlier when he got upset talking about his son and how infrequently he got to see him due to his busy schedule and his bitch of an ex-wife.
Sex Score = 8
My first online encounter was with Ponyboy. I’m referencing a character from S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders (which was one of my favorite books/movies). He was 6 foot, 185 lbs with brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. He resembled Karl Urban when he was in the movie Doom. He was a Cancer, had a dark and rugged look, and was in his early 30s. Ponyboy was recently divorced and had an infant son who was bi-racial. So right off the bat, I knew that he had a very good comfort level with black women and that I wasn’t simply an experiment to him. He was living with his parents and worked at a post office.
After talking online for a day or two, we decided to meet. With this being my first experience for online dating, I began to think, “Okay, what do I do now?” I then realized that I was talking to so many knights at one time, that I needed to keep track of them and what I said to whom. So began I adding little tidbits to my Little Black Book that they had told me about themselves – about their kids, or their occupation.
I initially planned not to give my home address out. However, I only felt comfortable giving him my home address because he had delivered my mail as a sub on one occasion. We finally agreed to meet and he came over to my house. I remember looking up at him and saying, “Wow! There’s a man at my door to see ME!” He was just as gorgeous in person as he was in his picture. I invited him over to watch a movie and we ended up having a drink. When we both loosened up, we sat and watched the movie Armageddon. He was very sentimental and a hopeless romantic. I had never seen knight cry watching a movie before, but during the scene where Bruce Willis saves the earth, he did! I think that was part of what really turned me on about him! True knights are allowed to be sensitive contrary to popular opinion. If he can’t explore his feminine side, he’s no good. I had sensed it earlier when he got upset talking about his son and how infrequently he got to see him due to his busy schedule and his bitch of an ex-wife.
Chapter 8: Dream Lover
Mac [Jul 17th, 1999] Sex Score = 10+
Mac gets an entire chapter to himself. He was my recurring sweetheart and my favorite sex partner. We met through mutual friends at a bar. He was a divorced, 5’7, Sagittarius with jet black hair, piercing brown eyes, muscles and an Italian sausage from heaven! He was a dead ringer for Sylvester Stallone when he was in NightHawks. He was an attorney in his late 40’s who worked downtown, drove a fly black sports car and was completely uninhibited and carefree. My friend gave him my number and he called me the next day. We set up a date for drinks.
When we met, we talked at the bar, ate pizza, shot pool, and threw darts. The latter two I had never done before. He showed me how to shoot pool because he was a tournament player. We began exchanging kisses in between dart throws as he was “teaching” me. There’s nothing sexier than playing dumb when you have a man standing behind you with a hard on. When the club was about to close, we began debating our next move.
Mac gets an entire chapter to himself. He was my recurring sweetheart and my favorite sex partner. We met through mutual friends at a bar. He was a divorced, 5’7, Sagittarius with jet black hair, piercing brown eyes, muscles and an Italian sausage from heaven! He was a dead ringer for Sylvester Stallone when he was in NightHawks. He was an attorney in his late 40’s who worked downtown, drove a fly black sports car and was completely uninhibited and carefree. My friend gave him my number and he called me the next day. We set up a date for drinks.
When we met, we talked at the bar, ate pizza, shot pool, and threw darts. The latter two I had never done before. He showed me how to shoot pool because he was a tournament player. We began exchanging kisses in between dart throws as he was “teaching” me. There’s nothing sexier than playing dumb when you have a man standing behind you with a hard on. When the club was about to close, we began debating our next move.
Chapter 13: All My Ex's Live in Texas
Texas [Sep 17th, 2000] Sex Score = 10+
Texas bought me a drink at the club for my birthday and offered to take me to dinner. Of course I said “Yes”. I mean he wasn’t much to look at ~ being just a big old country hijack. He was 5’8, about 200 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, goatee, Sagittarius, in his early 30’s and from Jasper, Texas. He kind of reminded me of a darker haired Kenny Rogers. But it was just dinner right? So I gave him my number and told him to call me. In talking with him I discovered that he was a traveling electrician staying at the hotel behind the club.
He had always dated black women and was once engaged to a black woman who bore a daughter for him that later died. I never did get the full story on that. On the evening of our scheduled date, I picked him up at the hotel. We ate at a classy Japanese restaurant and then went to the club. I discovered that he couldn’t dance for shit, but he sure loved watching me dance! He bought me a rose and any drink I wanted the entire evening.
When the club closed, we went back to his hotel. I was just way too drunk from him buying me drinks all night to try to drive home. He was the perfect gentleman. He offered me a t-shirt to sleep in and even offered me the extra bed in his hotel room. I slipped on the t-shirt and truly intended on sleeping in the other bed. I just didn’t feel like having sex with him, as I was just enjoying being pampered by him. However, the process of me undressing produced a look from him of total wanton desire and I’d never had anyone look at me with such lust and intensity!
Texas bought me a drink at the club for my birthday and offered to take me to dinner. Of course I said “Yes”. I mean he wasn’t much to look at ~ being just a big old country hijack. He was 5’8, about 200 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, goatee, Sagittarius, in his early 30’s and from Jasper, Texas. He kind of reminded me of a darker haired Kenny Rogers. But it was just dinner right? So I gave him my number and told him to call me. In talking with him I discovered that he was a traveling electrician staying at the hotel behind the club.
He had always dated black women and was once engaged to a black woman who bore a daughter for him that later died. I never did get the full story on that. On the evening of our scheduled date, I picked him up at the hotel. We ate at a classy Japanese restaurant and then went to the club. I discovered that he couldn’t dance for shit, but he sure loved watching me dance! He bought me a rose and any drink I wanted the entire evening.
When the club closed, we went back to his hotel. I was just way too drunk from him buying me drinks all night to try to drive home. He was the perfect gentleman. He offered me a t-shirt to sleep in and even offered me the extra bed in his hotel room. I slipped on the t-shirt and truly intended on sleeping in the other bed. I just didn’t feel like having sex with him, as I was just enjoying being pampered by him. However, the process of me undressing produced a look from him of total wanton desire and I’d never had anyone look at me with such lust and intensity!
Chapter 14: No More Drama
Texas left quite a bad taste in my mouth. I was also angry at the fact that I had gotten my kids involved with him. Here I was with two little girls and a makeshift daddy that didn’t last. I wasn’t in it to get a daddy for them; I was in it for my own self pleasure. I saw my single female friends and clients with their “daddy of the week” shit and didn’t want to end up like them. But I had fallen for the oldest trick in the book and let myself get involved and got my girls involved. So, I decided to take a vow of abstinence from the summer of 2000 to the summer of 2006.
During that time, I became self-aware of what I wanted out of life and how I planned to achieve that. It was also time period that the business I was a partner of had folded and I ended up starting one of my own. I had lost my house, my car, my van, my self-worth, my figure, my pride and my confidence as well. While I was slowly started to regain my life piece by piece, I wandered into the arena of adult toy parties.
I attended my first toy party in 2001. I was so tickled at the fact that you didn’t have to sneak into the naughty store and hide in the back section any longer. The world of adult toys is like Disneyworld to a horny female! They have everything in order to satisfy even the wildest fantasies. They had various sizes and shapes of vibrators, dongs and dildos, you can most certainly find something for everyone! The days of using screwdriver heads were long gone. They had gels that tingled and gave you both hot and cold sensations. Thank God for Kama Sutra Products! Here I had found something that licks your pussy for you, fucks you just as well, doesn’t take off with your car, gun and money and doesn’t give you a bunch of bullshit and empty promises!
During that time, I became self-aware of what I wanted out of life and how I planned to achieve that. It was also time period that the business I was a partner of had folded and I ended up starting one of my own. I had lost my house, my car, my van, my self-worth, my figure, my pride and my confidence as well. While I was slowly started to regain my life piece by piece, I wandered into the arena of adult toy parties.
I attended my first toy party in 2001. I was so tickled at the fact that you didn’t have to sneak into the naughty store and hide in the back section any longer. The world of adult toys is like Disneyworld to a horny female! They have everything in order to satisfy even the wildest fantasies. They had various sizes and shapes of vibrators, dongs and dildos, you can most certainly find something for everyone! The days of using screwdriver heads were long gone. They had gels that tingled and gave you both hot and cold sensations. Thank God for Kama Sutra Products! Here I had found something that licks your pussy for you, fucks you just as well, doesn’t take off with your car, gun and money and doesn’t give you a bunch of bullshit and empty promises!
Chapter 14: Another Part of Me
Manny [Aug 6th, 2006] Sex Score = 8
Manny was a little British delight with blond hair, blue eyes, and an accent to die for. He was dreamy with both the looks and personality of Mel Gibson. He was pushing 40 but wasn’t letting that stop him from partying! When it came to wining and dining, nobody did it better than he did. He had the class and finesse to go along with it.
I talked with Manny through IMs and was fascinated with his stories of growing up in England. He was just as fascinated with me telling him about tracing my heritage to England and then all the way to Scotland. I loved the fact that he was direct, straightforward and without bullshit. He asked me to call him and I did. He lived out of town, but was willing to drive the two hours to see me. We met at his hotel bar and got to know each other over a few drinks. Next was dinner at a retro restaurant where we ended up kissing. He was truly a natural! He was trying to be a self-proclaimed gigolo, so I played along and let him pamper me and show me off, despite the stares from closed minded observers.
After dinner, we walked to a local bar and took in some music and got down to talking dirty. A few women noticed us and commented on how good we looked together. When we told them we had just met online, they didn't believe us! We took a cab to another bar to dance. He's such a great dancer! We damn near cleared the floor every time we got out there. He could dance any and everything from swing to hip hop – he was very versatile. We ended up taking a cab back to his hotel and we converted from the gentleman/lady show to the freak-on-freak action! I became that “lady in the street, but freak in the bed!”
Manny was a little British delight with blond hair, blue eyes, and an accent to die for. He was dreamy with both the looks and personality of Mel Gibson. He was pushing 40 but wasn’t letting that stop him from partying! When it came to wining and dining, nobody did it better than he did. He had the class and finesse to go along with it.
I talked with Manny through IMs and was fascinated with his stories of growing up in England. He was just as fascinated with me telling him about tracing my heritage to England and then all the way to Scotland. I loved the fact that he was direct, straightforward and without bullshit. He asked me to call him and I did. He lived out of town, but was willing to drive the two hours to see me. We met at his hotel bar and got to know each other over a few drinks. Next was dinner at a retro restaurant where we ended up kissing. He was truly a natural! He was trying to be a self-proclaimed gigolo, so I played along and let him pamper me and show me off, despite the stares from closed minded observers.
After dinner, we walked to a local bar and took in some music and got down to talking dirty. A few women noticed us and commented on how good we looked together. When we told them we had just met online, they didn't believe us! We took a cab to another bar to dance. He's such a great dancer! We damn near cleared the floor every time we got out there. He could dance any and everything from swing to hip hop – he was very versatile. We ended up taking a cab back to his hotel and we converted from the gentleman/lady show to the freak-on-freak action! I became that “lady in the street, but freak in the bed!”
Chapter 20: Different Strokes
Lee [Feb 17th , 2007] Sex Score = 10+
It’s not every day that a 37 year old woman gets hit on by a 20 year old! I had to try it just once! Along comes Lee, a 20 year old college student, Aquarius, 5’8, with blond hair, blue eyes and a killer smile! He sent me a pic of his dick and I literally fell out of my chair! I thought the picture had to have been doctored because this dick looked more like a foot long! He wasn’t even legal enough to drink yet so that ruled out meeting at a bar. It was so cute because he IM’d me about his upcoming 21st birthday because all he was thinking about was drinking and having sex with me.
Queen’s Scroll
Me (1/15/2007 10:21:13 PM): so what are you up to tonight?
Lee (1/15/2007 10:21:32 PM): ah not much.....just finishing up some work
Me (1/15/2007 10:22:32 PM): Thank you sooo much for the pic - I love it!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:24:00 PM): hahaha...are we drooling in that smiley face there
Me (1/15/2007 10:24:17 PM): yes, I got wet all over again too!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:26:01 PM): hahaha....so i guess i pass your test to meet the queen
Me (1/15/2007 10:26:15 PM): indeed - I should be bowing to you!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:26:47 PM): oh yeah..whys thats?
Me (1/15/2007 10:27:03 PM): you have the most beautiful dick I have ever seen!
Me (1/15/2007 10:27:58 PM): you make me wanna drop to my knees and kneel before you!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:28:41 PM): so since u would be bowing to me..i guess would make me a king then
Me (1/15/2007 10:29:05 PM): indeed - I'd still have to crown you though
Lee (1/15/2007 10:30:14 PM): ah i see....now how are we gonna do that
Me (1/15/2007 10:30:35 PM): I need to see if you can perform your kingly duties...
It’s not every day that a 37 year old woman gets hit on by a 20 year old! I had to try it just once! Along comes Lee, a 20 year old college student, Aquarius, 5’8, with blond hair, blue eyes and a killer smile! He sent me a pic of his dick and I literally fell out of my chair! I thought the picture had to have been doctored because this dick looked more like a foot long! He wasn’t even legal enough to drink yet so that ruled out meeting at a bar. It was so cute because he IM’d me about his upcoming 21st birthday because all he was thinking about was drinking and having sex with me.
Queen’s Scroll
Me (1/15/2007 10:21:13 PM): so what are you up to tonight?
Lee (1/15/2007 10:21:32 PM): ah not much.....just finishing up some work
Me (1/15/2007 10:22:32 PM): Thank you sooo much for the pic - I love it!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:24:00 PM): hahaha...are we drooling in that smiley face there
Me (1/15/2007 10:24:17 PM): yes, I got wet all over again too!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:26:01 PM): hahaha....so i guess i pass your test to meet the queen
Me (1/15/2007 10:26:15 PM): indeed - I should be bowing to you!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:26:47 PM): oh yeah..whys thats?
Me (1/15/2007 10:27:03 PM): you have the most beautiful dick I have ever seen!
Me (1/15/2007 10:27:58 PM): you make me wanna drop to my knees and kneel before you!
Lee (1/15/2007 10:28:41 PM): so since u would be bowing to me..i guess would make me a king then
Me (1/15/2007 10:29:05 PM): indeed - I'd still have to crown you though
Lee (1/15/2007 10:30:14 PM): ah i see....now how are we gonna do that
Me (1/15/2007 10:30:35 PM): I need to see if you can perform your kingly duties...
Chapter 25: King of Pain
I befriended a knight in the armed services online through a dating website. We were just pen pals initially because he was stationed in Afghanistan. Jay was in his mid 30’s, a staff sergeant, single, no kids, from a town 2 hours north of me, and would be stationed in a town 2 hours south of me. I actually saved all of our communications via IM because I thought it would make a great love story one day. It turned out that the answer to my question of “Do Fairy Tales Really Come True?” was “Hell to the No!”.
Jay had a Ray Romano look as well as the sense of humor to match. He was 6’3, brown hair, blue eyes and looked edible in his uniform. He had been in the service about 8 years. We had been talking online since July and he was getting to come home end of August/beginning of September. The more we got to know each other as friends, the more he started falling for me. At first, I had my guard up because I figured he was just desperate to have a woman to talk to and I just happened to respond to his ad. Then the more I got to talking to him, I realized that he was really lonely and didn’t want to come home to no one waiting for him.
He started professing his love for me but I didn’t initially respond to it. I had sworn that I wasn't falling in love ever again, ever getting married again, ever going down that road again, and he insisted on breaking that barrier! He was a family oriented knight and he wanted to be a husband and father so badly that he had asked me what size ring I wore, what kind of diamond cut I like and if he could adopt my daughter! I was bewildered! I was ecstatic and terrified at the same time. I kept trying to push him away and find something wrong with him, but nothing was working! I even consulted with God and telling Him that I don't want to open my heart back up again. So I continued pushing him away, and He kept shoving him right back at me. He was so right in so many ways that I felt that I didn't deserve him.
Jay had a Ray Romano look as well as the sense of humor to match. He was 6’3, brown hair, blue eyes and looked edible in his uniform. He had been in the service about 8 years. We had been talking online since July and he was getting to come home end of August/beginning of September. The more we got to know each other as friends, the more he started falling for me. At first, I had my guard up because I figured he was just desperate to have a woman to talk to and I just happened to respond to his ad. Then the more I got to talking to him, I realized that he was really lonely and didn’t want to come home to no one waiting for him.
He started professing his love for me but I didn’t initially respond to it. I had sworn that I wasn't falling in love ever again, ever getting married again, ever going down that road again, and he insisted on breaking that barrier! He was a family oriented knight and he wanted to be a husband and father so badly that he had asked me what size ring I wore, what kind of diamond cut I like and if he could adopt my daughter! I was bewildered! I was ecstatic and terrified at the same time. I kept trying to push him away and find something wrong with him, but nothing was working! I even consulted with God and telling Him that I don't want to open my heart back up again. So I continued pushing him away, and He kept shoving him right back at me. He was so right in so many ways that I felt that I didn't deserve him.
Chapter 26: Your Love is King
Magnum found me on a dating site. He said he did a search and I was number one at the top of the list with a 100% match. The picture shown on his profile was just an upper body torso, no head, but a very nice figure and silhouette of a nice package as well. It was still a month after the Jay fiasco and I was still in “fucking anything with a white dick” mode. I checked out his profile which said:
“Drty Whiteboy ISO Drty Sweet...Dark Angel...A woman whose cool demeanor conceals her most secret desires...Sultry...Deceivingly Shy...Kind of Heart... Bad to the Bone...A Lady in Black Tie to Blue Jeans...forever Tempting with her Drty Mind...Taunting with her Drty Deeds...always wanting...always giving... all night long...
I'm a successful WPM (single)… who often finds that my personal and professional obligations never seem to allow time for locating that special someone to become a friend…companion…and ????…I realize this is a difficult medium to get acquainted but prefer it to the bar scene…especially as I’ve become less tolerant of the late night bar hopping lifestyle…Great sense of humor…Know how to treat a Lady like a Lady...enjoy the foreplay before the meltdown… "
Okay, I’m interested! A Dirty Sweet Dark Angel? His use of words was fascinating! He sent me an initial email which was even more intriguing than his profile.
Subject: Drty Sweet...Dark Angel...
Very Nice….I just read your profile and would luv to be the one who makes your panties wet and your pussy waiting to cum “Rid’n Drty” with the Whiteboy... I am a single successful…WPM …whose grown to find white women to be about as appealing as vanilla ice cream at Ben & Jerry's… given my personal and professional obligations…and my reluctance to hit the bar scene…it’s just not that easy for this “Whiteboy” to meet and hook up with an open minded attractive lady like yourself whose looking for your own Drty Sweet Connection…
“Drty Whiteboy ISO Drty Sweet...Dark Angel...A woman whose cool demeanor conceals her most secret desires...Sultry...Deceivingly Shy...Kind of Heart... Bad to the Bone...A Lady in Black Tie to Blue Jeans...forever Tempting with her Drty Mind...Taunting with her Drty Deeds...always wanting...always giving... all night long...
I'm a successful WPM (single)… who often finds that my personal and professional obligations never seem to allow time for locating that special someone to become a friend…companion…and ????…I realize this is a difficult medium to get acquainted but prefer it to the bar scene…especially as I’ve become less tolerant of the late night bar hopping lifestyle…Great sense of humor…Know how to treat a Lady like a Lady...enjoy the foreplay before the meltdown… "
Okay, I’m interested! A Dirty Sweet Dark Angel? His use of words was fascinating! He sent me an initial email which was even more intriguing than his profile.
Queen’s Scroll: October 16, 2007
Subject: Drty Sweet...Dark Angel...
Very Nice….I just read your profile and would luv to be the one who makes your panties wet and your pussy waiting to cum “Rid’n Drty” with the Whiteboy... I am a single successful…WPM …whose grown to find white women to be about as appealing as vanilla ice cream at Ben & Jerry's… given my personal and professional obligations…and my reluctance to hit the bar scene…it’s just not that easy for this “Whiteboy” to meet and hook up with an open minded attractive lady like yourself whose looking for your own Drty Sweet Connection…
Chapter 27: Beautiful Girls
I will admit, it is difficult to be in the dating game when you have children. Now, granted, mine were 16 and 10, so it wasn’t so hard to leave the house. I feel for the women with younger ones and no built-in babysitter who would always have to find someone to watch their child. But having two girls also makes you more leery to bring knights around them. I had been successful at this for nearly 8 years.
Magnum and I had a discussion about when to get our children involved in our relationship. Though my girls would take it just fine, we decided that it was not a good idea to get his son involved because of the impending divorce. Little boys take divorce a little harder than girls do. It’s harder for a boy to see his dad with another woman other than mom.
My oldest was a teenager who had actually encouraged her mother to go out and date. She had asked me several years ago why I didn’t have a boyfriend. I told her the truth ~ that I didn’t want to bring strange men around my daughters or become one of those women who went to the Laundromat and came home with a new “daddy” every week.
The fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend turned into an obsession when she turned about 15. She then began blaming herself and her sister for me “not being happy”. I told her I was perfectly content being abstinent and that I was a role model for her. She straight up told me that she had no intentions of having sex anytime soon because she could see what it did to her half-sister, cousin, aunties and friends around her. Her sister and cousin had kids before they even graduated high school and lived in the ghetto on welfare.
Magnum and I had a discussion about when to get our children involved in our relationship. Though my girls would take it just fine, we decided that it was not a good idea to get his son involved because of the impending divorce. Little boys take divorce a little harder than girls do. It’s harder for a boy to see his dad with another woman other than mom.
My oldest was a teenager who had actually encouraged her mother to go out and date. She had asked me several years ago why I didn’t have a boyfriend. I told her the truth ~ that I didn’t want to bring strange men around my daughters or become one of those women who went to the Laundromat and came home with a new “daddy” every week.
The fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend turned into an obsession when she turned about 15. She then began blaming herself and her sister for me “not being happy”. I told her I was perfectly content being abstinent and that I was a role model for her. She straight up told me that she had no intentions of having sex anytime soon because she could see what it did to her half-sister, cousin, aunties and friends around her. Her sister and cousin had kids before they even graduated high school and lived in the ghetto on welfare.
Chapter 28: Breathe
[Dec. 31, 2007] Sex Score = 12+
I couldn’t wait until New Years Eve! I had a new black blouse with a plunging neckline to the belly button and a short black skirt. He wore a sharp black suit with a brown muscle shirt. We looked hot as hell together! We reserved a hotel room, checked in and then headed to meet some of my friends at a pub. After a few drinks and the realization that there was no DJ or live band, we headed downtown to a posh dance club. I knew one of the bouncers so we got to skip the long line and get in for free.
We got our groove on in the VIP balcony overlooking the dance floor. He threatened to break out some old John Travolta moves from Saturday Night Fever and Pulp Fiction and I threatened to drop kick his ass back into the 70’s. When the countdown was approaching, we held each other in a tight embrace and realized that this was the first time for both of us to have someone we truly loved to share the first kiss of the New Year with.
When the countdown reached zero, we shared the most passionate and sensuous kiss in that whole building. We were still kissing when “Auld Lang Syne” was ending. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine and we simultaneously said, “Let’s Go!” We fought our way through the crowd to get out to the parking garage and through the traffic to get back to the hotel. I was so ready to devour him now! We both stopped to call our kids and wish them a “Happy New Year” on the way back.
When we finally made it back to the hotel room, I went into the bathroom because I had a surprise for him. I had a white satin and sequined nightie from my toy party line ready to entice him. I stepped out of the bathroom and heard him gasp and then sigh with amazement. “You are one sexy lady!” was all he could get out of his mouth. He was sitting in the chaise and I straddled him and leaned in to let him get a closer look. He pulled me into an embrace and began to caress every curve. To be thought of as irresistible to someone is the best self esteem booster of all! He just couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of me, even when I reminded him that we didn’t get to toast the new year in.
I couldn’t wait until New Years Eve! I had a new black blouse with a plunging neckline to the belly button and a short black skirt. He wore a sharp black suit with a brown muscle shirt. We looked hot as hell together! We reserved a hotel room, checked in and then headed to meet some of my friends at a pub. After a few drinks and the realization that there was no DJ or live band, we headed downtown to a posh dance club. I knew one of the bouncers so we got to skip the long line and get in for free.
We got our groove on in the VIP balcony overlooking the dance floor. He threatened to break out some old John Travolta moves from Saturday Night Fever and Pulp Fiction and I threatened to drop kick his ass back into the 70’s. When the countdown was approaching, we held each other in a tight embrace and realized that this was the first time for both of us to have someone we truly loved to share the first kiss of the New Year with.
When the countdown reached zero, we shared the most passionate and sensuous kiss in that whole building. We were still kissing when “Auld Lang Syne” was ending. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine and we simultaneously said, “Let’s Go!” We fought our way through the crowd to get out to the parking garage and through the traffic to get back to the hotel. I was so ready to devour him now! We both stopped to call our kids and wish them a “Happy New Year” on the way back.
When we finally made it back to the hotel room, I went into the bathroom because I had a surprise for him. I had a white satin and sequined nightie from my toy party line ready to entice him. I stepped out of the bathroom and heard him gasp and then sigh with amazement. “You are one sexy lady!” was all he could get out of his mouth. He was sitting in the chaise and I straddled him and leaned in to let him get a closer look. He pulled me into an embrace and began to caress every curve. To be thought of as irresistible to someone is the best self esteem booster of all! He just couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of me, even when I reminded him that we didn’t get to toast the new year in.
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