Chapter 25: King of Pain

I befriended a knight in the armed services online through a dating website. We were just pen pals initially because he was stationed in Afghanistan. Jay was in his mid 30’s, a staff sergeant, single, no kids, from a town 2 hours north of me, and would be stationed in a town 2 hours south of me. I actually saved all of our communications via IM because I thought it would make a great love story one day. It turned out that the answer to my question of “Do Fairy Tales Really Come True?” was “Hell to the No!”.

Jay had a Ray Romano look as well as the sense of humor to match. He was 6’3, brown hair, blue eyes and looked edible in his uniform. He had been in the service about 8 years. We had been talking online since July and he was getting to come home end of August/beginning of September. The more we got to know each other as friends, the more he started falling for me. At first, I had my guard up because I figured he was just desperate to have a woman to talk to and I just happened to respond to his ad. Then the more I got to talking to him, I realized that he was really lonely and didn’t want to come home to no one waiting for him.

He started professing his love for me but I didn’t initially respond to it. I had sworn that I wasn't falling in love ever again, ever getting married again, ever going down that road again, and he insisted on breaking that barrier! He was a family oriented knight and he wanted to be a husband and father so badly that he had asked me what size ring I wore, what kind of diamond cut I like and if he could adopt my daughter! I was bewildered! I was ecstatic and terrified at the same time. I kept trying to push him away and find something wrong with him, but nothing was working! I even consulted with God and telling Him that I don't want to open my heart back up again. So I continued pushing him away, and He kept shoving him right back at me. He was so right in so many ways that I felt that I didn't deserve him.