Chapter 6: Looking For Love

My first online ad/entry occurred in July of 1999. I was about to be 30 years old and I’m posting an online ad for “Chocolate Seeking Vanilla”. I knew what I wanted and had no idea if there were actually white knights out there who were actually interested in and looking for black women. I figured the majority would respond out of curiosity. I was aware that just walking into a bar, I wouldn’t be the first choice of a white knight. I also knew that the majority of white knights who did like black women wouldn’t just walk right up to me either. I always had to do the staring contest and give some indication that I was interested before they would have the nerve to say something. By using the internet, it did all of the work for me.

Next, I needed a plan. What do I do if a knight is interested in me? What information should I collect before meeting him? What if I run into a rapist or murderer? How would I screen them? What rules would I need to protect myself and my children? At what point do I give him my phone number or actually meet him? At what point do I initiate sex? All of these were questions I had asked myself. At the time, there wasn’t a set of rules or a guide to online dating and I didn’t find any suggestions on the internet. I had to make up my own! Now they have books with helpful hints such as protect your identity – do not give out any personal info until you are comfortable; and having separate email accounts – use one for online dating and one for your personal.

Now, not everyone can excel at online dating as I have. My years of experience have produced a set of “golden rules” that I have gone by. The rules have been altered with each unpleasant experience but have generally remained the same.